I have fallen

Yes I have fallen………

 

I have fallen off a wagon.

 

I have fallen in love with you.

 

I have fallen for your tricks again.

 

I fallen yet again on my head.

 

I have fallen

 

You think that I would fall again for the same trick? Think again man I won’t do that and can’t do that. I know I seem stupid and all but there is something that always goes berserk each time you make a move on me sucker. Yeah I remembers that our 1st date we went to the movies and now you are trying to relive it again. Ah well it’s up to you really as to what memories you hold on to. I hold on to the lies and promised you never fulfilled. Oh today I am good enough for your babies, how many were they when we 1st met? How many are they now? Just like before lets keep it that. You couldn’t trust me enough to be honest with me hey. Ya ne. I still have your proposal and ring.

Again you make promises in front of your friends that we will be together forever and ever? You know you can’t and won’t make it happen. Just because you are in dire doesn’t mean that there is changes. You shall never and you will never be honest with me I am not what you are looking for in a partner. I am only good when you want to use me. Yes use me however way suits you.

Yes you will keep on stealing my ideas. You don’t want to see get out of the gutter just because I am not with you. It is your own doing. Couldn’t we have taken things as per our plan? Not put on any pressure, less impossible expectations. Would you have loved me more had I had your baby? Didn’t you want us to enjoy each other’s company before having kids? Gunshot marriage is that what you always wanted? How could I have handled you with that green monster?  Did you love me enough not to worry about the baby I might have carried for you? You made a promise and I sure hope you keep. I trust you’ll remember it and I shall remind you should you step otherwise.

Why couldn’t you have given me chance to find myself? You wanted marriage and I felt I was young to be tied down like that. How does it feel to be caught between 2 people you claim to love? I think I wouldn’t have survived the fact that you are in love with someone else other me.

I can’t be part of entourage, couldn’t be then and I won’t be. I understand that distance played a role but you could have comprised as I did for you. Anyway everything happens for a reason hence you couldn’t be faithful to me. I got to say I am glad that you left me now I don’t have to be worried about the diseases I might pick up cos you don’t condomise.

I was spoil t and respected by you even we often had our fights. What we had was the best so far. I just hope you would continue to do that to the woman you would end up marrying. I still don’t know what makes you so special however I became attached to you and you to me. We became one. I enjoyed our time together. You taught me a lot in forgiving those who have hurt us and moving on with our lives. Here we are living a healthy life. Thank you may you continue being your pleasant self. I can’t forget those eyes. Beautiful as they are.

I know you were really attracted to me the 1st time you laid your eyes on me. You waited for how many years before you made a move on me? You even have a baby but you still respected my space and kept your feelings to yourself. Now you can’t wait a week yet you waited so long? I know that you want to be with me but the situation is not conducive enough. Even though I could not understand what you were saying about me however I could tell that there is something there in your eyes, your touch, your smile. You were speaking about me hence I felt a bit shy when you approached. Yes that shocked look when you saw my upper body as my baby undone my dress. Yes everybody who matters to you knows about me and they respect me thank you. The compliments I get I shall cherish them even though it’s too late now we can’t be together there is other people involved. I cherish your honesty about yourself. I realized that you don’t know much about me and actually don’t care. You saw what you saw and it shall remain like that.

I am single however respect the fact that I do not want you in my space. My space my home if you are serious about us you would find a place for us. I am not boarding and free lodger place. I want my kids and friends to have the freedom to come and go as they please besides I am not all for my kids to see different men in our house. I want them to feel safe as they do right now. Yes different men I dare say.

After you had whatever you wanted you will and another will assume it’s free boarding and lodging in my place and I will end up with married men as partners cos I will be having a place for all of them to sleep. I respect my space as much as you respect yours. Besides you former girlfriend is like a daughter to me. Yes I may seem young and naive however you were the greatest teachers a person would have and thank you for all the life’s lessons that you taught me. May your continue to teach others as you did with me.

 

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In all fairness……

The year 2016 came in with stories horror I tell you.

We had story of a very young girl who died of drug overdose and was sort of gang raped by a number of boys. Yes I said it. I don’t know whether she had intentions of sleeping with this boys or did they took a chance just as she passed out. The fact that our boys had sex with her even though she was unresponsive is repulsive. They laughed about it saying ‘oh she is pretending to be asleep a good fuck will wake her up’. The audacity, the nerve to even think about it. Yes apparently her drink was also spiked. What kind of kids are we raising up?

Another was also found dead in an empty room only the remainder of drugs etc. She was also bleeding and again it was somebody’s house. Is cheap drugs flooding townships? Every place has it’s own type of drug but lately we have seen influx of cheapest cocaine and crack.

A well known drug addict also died from this cheap thing they call it “MONYOPI”. What is scary is who is the manufacturer of this cheap drug, the distributor cos it seems like the known dealers do not sell it, it’s new players.

In another incident someone was fed crack and took it in. Needed to be drained the poison from the body. Yes we have had our usual staff as per region however there is some business people who think otherwise creating their own market. Business skill 101 however with the undesired product.

I just wonder how many incidents are there that we are not aware of however the scourge of drugs is an issue for the whole community. I wonder how many nyaope babies are we having. Do they look like crack babies? Do they have cravings as well? You see a lot of couples smoking together and the fairer sex is preggies. It’s worrying though drug issue is being addressed but do we consider the pregnant couples?

You think you know

You think you’ll eventually belong there, alas think again? You are nothing but a daughter in law and will remain such. You will never replace any of my children however you will be part of my son’s life. Yes you can have as many babies as you want. It’s your decision after all.

 

Yes they may pretend that you are the most important part of their family yep treat you with respect in front of their beloved son or brother particularly if he is the breadwinner. They will give you that illusion that you are part of them. “Them” ha alas you will never be besides blood is thicker than water. You said that it does not matter whether I have a child or not and indeed it did not matter. You never said that it bothered you that your first born will be my second born. You did not say anything about my child is not your How do you say it “your blood”. Yet you had the audacity to be jealous when some other people wanted to approach. You ring fenced me. You made sure that they do not come near me or I do not even see or even notice their intentions. Yes I had eyes for no one except you but it was not necessary to string me along.

Am I responsible for your previous experiences? I don’t think so and it is unfair to make me pay for what previous exes did to you. Did I bore you? Why didn’t you tell me? Was it necessary to compare me to your other girlfriends? Was it wrong for me to want the best that I think I deserve? I still don’t. So live with your choices I will live with mine.

You never felt the need to support me however you need my support. Stop sending people to come and ask me to come visit. I am super fine just like you are. You were never there when I needed you so don’t expect magic. What goes around comes around and for you it came a lot sooner than I thought. How does it feel now that you are experiencing what I am experiencing?

Yoh now you think I am a naive just becos I smile with you. I am just civil for my sake. I can’t keep carrying grudges, you are not worth it. What I often ask myself is “What would I have done, had you done that to me?”. Life goes on after.

You met my sister a few years ago however you call her a witch. Wow that’s all I can say. You think you know. It actually shows what kind of household you are from. Gossiping is part and parcel of who you are. Let me let you into a little secret stupid things amuses small minds. Think again.

 

You thought you were God’s gift to me ha think again. I am doing well without and I have little or no regret re: my engagement with you. You taught me thank you for the lesson. One question though ” What did you take me for? Yes I know I do not know my blood line but that does not make you any better than me at least I know that I might be a mixed breed. I am gorgeous hence you noticed me hey. I know I am something else.

Let me assure you I LOVE MY KIDS yours included even though you felt that you don’t want once the baby was born. You took me for a fool. Good luck in your endeavors.

Fear that we all have

I am living in fear that he’ll or she’ll  pass on. Yes last year was touch and go but she is still here. We still don’t know what was causing all this discomfort. Fear gripped us and for a moment we remembered her status.

 

He started coughing and wouldn’t just go away, it went on and on for some time and we asked him to take the tests. They turned out negative for what we thought it would be. Again fear gripped us and status issue resurfaced. We all thought that he will live to celebrate 10 years knowing his status. Yes he is going to live. Still we don’t know what caused the discomfort.

 

Yes both of you are sick, now we wonder what is happening? Are you taking your medication? Have you given up the battle or are you still fighting? My wish is for you to outlive a whole lot of users out there. Take us by surprise bury them 1st before they could bury you.

 

The swelling had gone down and he was getting to be comfortable living with his life partner however the swelling came back full force and he lost the battle, he passed on.

 

Yes strides have been made in the AIDS pandemic however each time something happens their status comes back in mind that they are HIV +. We don’t think about anything else.

Yep we do not share our fears. We all cry in our little dark corners.

 

This means we will never ever accept the virus though it has been with us for some time now. Your will always determine who or what you are. After all it is human nature to class.

Does size really matter?

I sat with a group of couples and all of a sudden topic of SEX came up. Normally that topic we have it when we are with our friends cos at times very intimate details are shared.

Obviously we all took part, in fact we were keen to share.

Yep the size issue became the focus.

I just wanna know does size really matter or is the skill the deal breaker?

The fairer sex some said it does matter whereas the other half focused on the skill.

One often sees the pamphlet re: helping you to increase your manhood or something similar.

The issue of size becomes a heated debate between couples such that some end up splitting.

As we were discussing a story came to mind…….

This guy was so distressed with the fact that he can’t satisfied his women issue being him very small in that department. He was so stressed that he couldn’t focus on anything except that he wants to satisfy his women. He opened up to fraudsters.

All of sudden people became responsible in ensuring that he satisfied his ladies. They ensured that he parts with his hard earned cash. They came in droves to make money. Indeed he became the laughing stock of the town. They gave him all sorts of remedies…. I remember where they brought in suet with mixed charcoal. He had to rub it on his anatomy for   the next 3 days without washing, twice a day. I wondered how his undies looked like after that and the smell, must have a been a real pong hey. Then they gave him Vaseline mixed with something like an aloe and they told him to wait for a few weeks as he pulls it every time he answered he’ll see the difference. In fact he will also feel it. I wonder if he ever did get what he wanted as he relocated.

Then the ladies as well have their own issues re: size of their anatomy to an extend that they fall prey to home made vaginoplastos. Apparently if one searches very well there is a dried fruit called ” lengangajane”. They rave about it. There is also some ointment that they also get from herbalists. They say one swipe of the ointment your partner will never get enough of you. They say he will go crazy. Don’t know how true it is but one will have to do some more research.

Hope all this suffering is all but having a wonderful and memorable procreation.

What I find funny is this young boys have bigger anatomies than their fathers. Is it what these boys eat as kids that makes them like this? Is it a myth?