I have fallen

Yes I have fallen………

 

I have fallen off a wagon.

 

I have fallen in love with you.

 

I have fallen for your tricks again.

 

I fallen yet again on my head.

 

I have fallen

 

You think that I would fall again for the same trick? Think again man I won’t do that and can’t do that. I know I seem stupid and all but there is something that always goes berserk each time you make a move on me sucker. Yeah I remembers that our 1st date we went to the movies and now you are trying to relive it again. Ah well it’s up to you really as to what memories you hold on to. I hold on to the lies and promised you never fulfilled. Oh today I am good enough for your babies, how many were they when we 1st met? How many are they now? Just like before lets keep it that. You couldn’t trust me enough to be honest with me hey. Ya ne. I still have your proposal and ring.

Again you make promises in front of your friends that we will be together forever and ever? You know you can’t and won’t make it happen. Just because you are in dire doesn’t mean that there is changes. You shall never and you will never be honest with me I am not what you are looking for in a partner. I am only good when you want to use me. Yes use me however way suits you.

Yes you will keep on stealing my ideas. You don’t want to see get out of the gutter just because I am not with you. It is your own doing. Couldn’t we have taken things as per our plan? Not put on any pressure, less impossible expectations. Would you have loved me more had I had your baby? Didn’t you want us to enjoy each other’s company before having kids? Gunshot marriage is that what you always wanted? How could I have handled you with that green monster?  Did you love me enough not to worry about the baby I might have carried for you? You made a promise and I sure hope you keep. I trust you’ll remember it and I shall remind you should you step otherwise.

Why couldn’t you have given me chance to find myself? You wanted marriage and I felt I was young to be tied down like that. How does it feel to be caught between 2 people you claim to love? I think I wouldn’t have survived the fact that you are in love with someone else other me.

I can’t be part of entourage, couldn’t be then and I won’t be. I understand that distance played a role but you could have comprised as I did for you. Anyway everything happens for a reason hence you couldn’t be faithful to me. I got to say I am glad that you left me now I don’t have to be worried about the diseases I might pick up cos you don’t condomise.

I was spoil t and respected by you even we often had our fights. What we had was the best so far. I just hope you would continue to do that to the woman you would end up marrying. I still don’t know what makes you so special however I became attached to you and you to me. We became one. I enjoyed our time together. You taught me a lot in forgiving those who have hurt us and moving on with our lives. Here we are living a healthy life. Thank you may you continue being your pleasant self. I can’t forget those eyes. Beautiful as they are.

I know you were really attracted to me the 1st time you laid your eyes on me. You waited for how many years before you made a move on me? You even have a baby but you still respected my space and kept your feelings to yourself. Now you can’t wait a week yet you waited so long? I know that you want to be with me but the situation is not conducive enough. Even though I could not understand what you were saying about me however I could tell that there is something there in your eyes, your touch, your smile. You were speaking about me hence I felt a bit shy when you approached. Yes that shocked look when you saw my upper body as my baby undone my dress. Yes everybody who matters to you knows about me and they respect me thank you. The compliments I get I shall cherish them even though it’s too late now we can’t be together there is other people involved. I cherish your honesty about yourself. I realized that you don’t know much about me and actually don’t care. You saw what you saw and it shall remain like that.

I am single however respect the fact that I do not want you in my space. My space my home if you are serious about us you would find a place for us. I am not boarding and free lodger place. I want my kids and friends to have the freedom to come and go as they please besides I am not all for my kids to see different men in our house. I want them to feel safe as they do right now. Yes different men I dare say.

After you had whatever you wanted you will and another will assume it’s free boarding and lodging in my place and I will end up with married men as partners cos I will be having a place for all of them to sleep. I respect my space as much as you respect yours. Besides you former girlfriend is like a daughter to me. Yes I may seem young and naive however you were the greatest teachers a person would have and thank you for all the life’s lessons that you taught me. May your continue to teach others as you did with me.

 

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